Disorientation

Various levels:

-- why the moments/periods when nothing registers, no memory, no comprehension, no "being with it"? It is all "cottony" or cloudy, indistinct, distant....

-- Why the moments or periods when you can't emotionally handle it? when everything feels impossible to tackle or handle, when every little thing feels like one more Everest-size irritant on top of all the others?

-- why then the moments when it all, and I mean "all", feels unnecessary, so far away, too much, not worth it, kick the damn thing away once and for all?

Is there something really brewing below the surface, something really wrong? Is it just aging? Is it madness creeping up? Is it just a phase? Is it some medication? Is is a wrong life and a call for a change? (Thank you, Obama!)

In the meantime, on to med tests and more...

Sartre was right: this IS Nausea (with a capital N), existential, essential, and you can take it literally:
First, really no interest in any food at all, of any type;
and,
Two, it really feels nauseous all the time, any time of day...