Guys, Gals, and the truth of life -daily life 6

One of my female friends asked me why it is that guys are so dumb.
Her case in point: her ex is losing weight, not well, but won't go see a doctor. Well, it can be fear, it can be money, it can also be the macho thing ("me strong, me big boy, me 3 testicles"-- in greater delusions: "me FIVE testicles")
I don't know about this particular case, but, yes, men can be dumb. I know, I am one, and from the horse's patoote, I can tell you: YES!
Not that I personally have ever done anything wrong: Ladies, I have learned from you (see, here is a man who LISTENS, ha!), and I can tell you, not only have I never done anything wrong, I am also perfect! It is TRUE, I AM Right (I just... lie a little, that's all!)

Anyway, back to the dumbness of guys and men: yes, we are, OK!
But then, may I also respectfully state categorically there are also dumb women, dumb kids, dumb geezers, and nurses, and PhDs, etc etc..! We are surrounded.
And I shall have to go back to one of the great underrated thinkers of last century, yes, Brigitte Bardot: "au secours, au secours, les cons nous cernent!" (help, help, the morons are circling around us)
On the other hand, just like us, what do these alleged morons use to judge us? Well, it becomes sticky: they use the same we use to judge them: personal brains...
So, all is relative.
(Sorry for the Pope who fights heartily on -- but his heart can't be that strong, anyway -- against things relative, because he knows the truth, no discussion, period, that's it. Well, thank.... God???--

I suggested to my friend that she ask the pope if her ex is an ass (but then, she may have to convert to being a Cathlick, because if you don't believe what the pope does, you are wrong, period!-- I assume the Pope would not call you names, but who knows any more?? the pope has been Polish, this one wears red Prada shoes and Gucci shades...
So, the Pope will tell you if you or anyone else is an ass (easy test: is your ex a cathlick? -- No? ergo... he is an ass... See, how easy things can be? What? you too are an ass? No big deal, me too, so what?? )
And, let's see, about 5 out of the 6 billion people on earth also are! (Based on a rough estimate of about five billion non-cathlicks in the world.)
Oh, my, my, the pope is right, he nailed it down!!! Five out of six people on earth are indeed morons, that should seem to match most estimates (look around you, can you not find immediately, right now, FIVE morons you can think of? That was my own sample. And I can find, as can you, ten morons out of twelve people, and 85 out of one hundred, right? Goodness gracious, the Pope is right! I have to go, I must find a church, convert to "cathliss-ism" (say it with a second lisp, it's more fun), and pass all these questions, worries, queries, and all my past errors of when I had a brain and knew stuff, on to churches, who have all the answers.
The Pope will do, as best single rep, and he wants that job, it's written in their code. I wonder if he too will die for... someone else's sins?
I almost did die yesterday when some bozo ran a red light on her cell phone and was headed straight for me when she suddenly realized I should not be in front of her SUV (in her own mind) and she stopped, thank God!
We do agree that in fact, SHE was wrong, but I almost died for her sins because I am perfect now, so whose sins are those? that I almost died for?
I got it! YOUR, ANY EX's! voila !!

WE JUST SOLVED THE problem of life!!!!

one problem though: OK, I am an ass, but who cleans me, or it, when I am
old and "decrapit"?
Someone stupid but who has enough compassion to not throw me on the garbage pile when I am leaking from everywhere... Damn, I need the non-PhDs of the world to.... get me my groceries, take me to a store, ambulance me to the hospital, take my garbage out, repair my leaky faucets or toilets (and some of those are artists in their jobs!)
Problem not solved: even denying our social nature (it's genetic--nothing, you can do about it), we need others! Otherwise I had the truth of life licked and ready.

Of course, the Pope says (as does Simon --and Garfunkel, too???) that you must have a cathlick plumber, garbage man, nurse, mechanic, etc., etc. And other faiths do that too: must have a Jewish lawyer or baker, a Greek Orthodox realtor, etc...And it all begins again, back full circle!

Anyway, no time to worry about religion and the truth of life: we are facing another Christmas with all the white, green, or red sweatshirts with all the silver, gold, and shiny wishes and snowy scenery, the SUVs with the little (or BIG) wreath up front, the inflatable Sanny Clawsiz in the yard, and those eternal four or five songs (jingle bells, etc.) ABSOLUTELY everywhere for six weeks, for the greater good of buying and selling, America needs us to get in debt (to.. foreigners, by the way)!

But we came so close, so close to the truth of life, finally! Better luck next time?
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daily life part 5 - judgment day and flying pigs

Judgment day is to take place when pigs fly, when hell freezes over, when chickens have teeth, as the French say -- "quand les poules auront des dents"-- and other unlikely events. So, in theory, before we find ourselves called to sit on one side or the other of Jesus, God, Christ, etc., we still have time.

However, science is progressing so quickly that some mad or extremely clever scientist could be working as we speak on a combination pig/pork + chicken new meat, which COULD acually cause... pigs to fly! (and maybe one day flies to pig out, --and become bomber flies or bumble flies? -- but that is another question)

So, prepare thyself, Judgment Day might indeed come, for a bumble fly, or bombing pig, or flying bar bell, or even tinkerbell or a bar belle might toll for thee!


PS: On second thoughts, chickens don't really fly any more anyway, since, even if they could fly naturally, we don't let them; we pack them into automatic feeder chickenhouses, overfeed them, and crowd them so much that their legs and wings suffer from atrophy....

"Penguin" politicians & drivers + (freebie) 1924 Pact of Locarno

In the mid-1920s appeared in France little penguin porcelain figurines (about two inches tall and displaying great craftsmanship) representing various political figures and high government officials of the day*, and Lord knows they have had their share of lousy politicos! (as any mature country has inevitably produced, probably because we, modern and self proclaimed "developed" humans, lose track of the importance of our involvement in our own democracy.)

The perceptive and inquiring minds among you will ask why the poor penguins, already saddled with probably the worst climate on earth, end up mixed up in French politics? Aren't they suffering enough? Not to mention that we are warming up their icepack with our SUVs, central A/C and heating, and other modern necessities, and then, there is also the case of our fake promises and ... hot air, precisely!

In France, "penguin" was an old-fashioned insult for a gauche and incompetent individual. The penguins' particular waddling gait and short, awkward, undeveloped anterior limbs make them perfect pictures of our politicians, to the sarcastically-minded. It would seem that the long tradition of French anarchistic, and at times self-deprecating, humor is in tune with the current American state of mind towards political leadership. But let's go back to our penguins, retournons a nos pingouins!

Despite their impeccable, highly official-looking tuxedoed appearance, penguins are also documented idiots; for instance, should the first one in the line, the alleged leader, accidentally stumble and fall, ALL followers (quite a long line, indeed the entire colony!) replicate that fall, obviously noting that, well, if the boss does it, I guess I must, too, and that's just the way it's done! In other terms, penguins are conformists through and through, repetitive, lacking in imagination or personality, in short,... perfect functionnaries! --and probably at all levels, high or low in the hierarchy or totem pole of civil and government service.

Then, of course, come in the aforementioned underdeveloped anterior limbs, i.e., "arms and hands" (nature's adaptation against the bitter cold--penguins can't afford to extend a hand as our politicians do to appear friendly and hope we'd vote for them; in Antarctica, you'd lose your hand if you had one--no BS in Antarctica, extend a hand and you lose it, not a bad system to prevent hypocrisy and fake friendliness, you might add--Maybe we could send our politicians to practice campaigning down there, at least they'd help warm up the poor penguins who, in fact, are a lot less detrimental to the environment.)

The old "pingouin" insult was frequently yelled from the car window to bad drivers of any motorized vehicle requiring manual dexterity or attention. This pretty mild insult was still in use as late as the 1960s; we have since graduated to much more direct, and much more comprehensive, all-inclusive evaluations of debatable drivers. Nevertheless, one can easily imagine that, should a penguin somehow end up at the wheel or handlebars of our modern vehicles, it would be difficult for this intellectually limited and dexterity-challenged animal to steer and manoeuver in today's traffic any better than many of our home-grown, alleged modern drivers...

That is the end of the blog du jour, but, today, you also get a little history lesson!

* One of the little penguin figurines holds a big brown book or envelope on which appears the word "Locarno," a reference to the October 1924 pact of Locarno, signed by France, the United Kingdom, Italy, and Germany, by which the latter settles its borders to the West with France and Belgium (but not towards the East -- Czechoslovakia and Poland--some things never change!! or was it advanced preparation?) Obviously this is the representation of the French Foreign Affairs Minister at the time (whose name may appear here soon, if I can find it...)