discovery

She looked again at the man her sister had loved for twenty-five years. Indeed, she could see why. And he was so approachable, why did nothing ever developed? He was married but there had been a time between marriages when it could have happened. The age difference, the professional connection, probably...

She found herself eager to ask, to make him talk, and she was taking it all in. It did not help that the weather and the scenery were beautiful, exalting in fact... Yes, she could ahve, she would have... she almost could NOW! But let's refocus, too much to do, too much pain, too much fatigue, losing her compass points.
Charming, he was charming, just simply charming. Under other circumstances.... she had to muster her linguistic skills, and talk to him the right way, but the language barrier was a bit much now with the overnight flight, the new country, the fatigue, the awful hurt lingering in her. She was here for her sister, and that sister, the surrogate mother, would be ruthless if there was any interference on her turf, her BIG sister's turf. Let go of it, she told herself. Coffee, shower, rest, God help me! She went back to looking at him, helpful, handsome, attentionate, why aren't more men like this one?... Who was doubly not hers, anwyay. "Wonder what his wife looks like? Is like? Sis said he was not a superficial, appearances type (on top of it all!), his wife is not a looker but hyper-bright, and they are great together, really a team, a real couple, she had said. The way it should be... Yeah, it fits. He's got brains, too."

"OK, recompose, back to the task. God, this is going to be hard. You come to say the ultimate goodbyes, put your big sister to rest forever, and your emotions, your entire being is astir."
She could feel herself slipping. Too tired.

Yeap, it was so, move on. But she understood her sister now.